Following the unexpected and, as yet, still unexplained death of Gary Speed, as well as recent comments from former Villa player Stan Collymore, I wanted to cover what I consider the final taboo subject in football.
Whilst racism and homophobia still occur on occasion at football matches, both of these issues are dealt with openly via clubs and associations. Once considered taboo to even mention, it is proof that the sport has advanced now that these issues are recognised and dealt with accordingly.
I should stress at this point that Gary’s death hasn’t been confirmed as due to depression, but with Stan’s current plight weighing on my mind, I wanted to cover the view of it in modern day football.
Depression remains the “elephant in the room” that continues to be ignored. Whilst several professional footballers have suffered with mental health problems ranging from substance abuse to gambling problems, depression still seems to be treated as something that doesn’t, or shouldn’t, affect a footballer.
Which, coincidentally, is rather a foolish assumption to make. Often sports stars, especially footballers given this country’s fixation with the game, are lambasted by fans as being ignorant rich people who live the life of Riley. The reality is that they are only human, and suffer from high levels of expectation to perform regularly. This is stressful, no matter how much money a player earns.
Money – It Really Isn’t The Answer To All Life’s Problem
Money may well provide security for people and, especially for those that don’t have it, it is often perceived as a solution to life’s worries. How can a footballer be depressed after all when all they do is play the game and are paid a fortune to do so? Earning a lot of money does not make you less susceptible to depression or mental health issues. All it does is make you well paid.
To quote Buddhist monk and lauded writer Matthieu Ricard “If you become the owner of a fabulous penthouse apartment, furnished with luxuries, but inside you are utterly destroyed and depressed, the only thing you will look for is a window from which to jump.”
In making his statement, Ricard explains just exactly how depression can have a severe grasp on the lives of those it affects. Depression isn’t something that can be resolved by being told to “pull yourself together”, nor is it a trivial matter. I would hazard a guess that all of us reading this article have either personally been affected, or have someone close to them who has been affected by the illness.
The reality is that depression is a serious illness, and money has no relevant connection in terms of susceptibility. For years, those suffering from mental health issues have suffered under a cloud of societal judgment. Mental health has often been seen as something of a lesser issue than physical ailments, although the reality is that mental health often has substantial physical effects.
Depression, much like other mental health issues, can be a lifelong issue that sufferers have to deal with. The cyclical nature of it means that recurrences are regular with former player Stan Collymore currently going through a dark period of depression as we speak.
I, perhaps fortunately, have been lucky to avoid any severe form of depression. The closest I have ever come is in the years following my 15th birthday when I was assaulted by a group of men. Given the fact that it happened on my birthday itself, and the fact that my presents were stolen from me, it will always be indelibly etched into my mind as a date.
For several years after this experience, I was very insular, fluctuating between fear and anger with rapid regularity. I can vividly remember putting my fist straight through my bedroom door at the time, knowing that I felt powerless as a result of being taken advantage of. Spending the latter parts of my school career travelling in taxis because I was fearful of the assault occurring again left me with PTSD but, positively, it was one of the reasons why I started taking a keen interest in psychology, and wanted to help others who had suffered from trauma and issues that affected their mental health.
Speaking to me now, many wouldn’t believe I had ever been through such an experience, but that is because those who do suffer with mental health issues often know how to hide things away. Whilst I did, I was lucky things didn’t progress to a major depressive episode, thus I can’t commend my choice to keep things quiet.
Getting back to the points regarding depression, I have seen many people close to me affected by it, sometimes massively so, with several of these people losing their lives, much like Gary did on Sunday. The brother of one of my schoolboy friends hung himself in his late teens whilst we were out at a party. Much like Sunday’s situation, it was totally unexpected, and brought to light the reality of what can happen, and how outward appearances can often mask how people may truly be feeling.
Beating The Problem
So in order to ensure that depression is taken seriously we, as human beings, need to be able to be more open and candid about problems. As men, it is often difficult or awkward to speak about feelings given our general nature for shoving our emotions under the carpet and “get on with it”. Women undoubtedly have a better understanding of their feelings, although nobody is immune to depression. Men prefer to go down the pub and drink which, considering alcohol itself is a depressant, is often not the right solution.
So I say this, as a fellow human being, that if you feel you are suffering from real depression, rather than the current frustrations we have with football at the club at present, I recommend you make a call to your doctor, or visit one of the websites dedicated to providing services to those affected.
Hopefully this article will be well received. I know it isn’t directly about Aston Villa, but I do feel it is a serious issue that affects many. If we can help spread the word that depression shouldn’t be brushed under the carpet, then hopefully we can avoid as many future tragedies as possible.
For further information regarding mental health, I recommend checking out Mind, a charity in the UK focussed specifically on the illness. You can visit their website here.
This website is a community and, whether we agree or disagree on football related issues, I would like to think we care about the well-being of fellow readers.
If you’re suffering, remember, you’re not alone. The first steps can be the hardest in terms of pride, but even speaking to another person may help you get on the road to recovery. If anyone out there is suffering, reach out and speak to someone. It might be the best thing you could do today.
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